Everyone has their own individual experiences of childhood and growing up. As this is the key stage of human learning and development, these childhood experiences can have a major impact later on in adult life. Most people have experienced some sort of trauma in their developmental years to a varying extent, which can leave them feeling vulnerable or sensitive to certain events in life. For some people, this could be a particular event that occurred only once in their childhood. For others, it could be wounding caused by constant moving of location, coming from a broken family, or perhaps physical or psychological abuse growing up.
'Inner child' work is a therapeutic method of reconnecting to the little boy or girl within you to overcome trauma, fears, phobias, or life patterns. By reflecting back or visualising your childhood self at the time of a trauma, you can begin to acknowledge and understand them in order to heal from the experience.
Research has shown that the body holds both emotional and physical pain. By ignoring or repressing this pain, it can manifest or emerge at unlikely and unexpected times in the future. Often the baggage we carry from childhood can be difficult to let go of, but no one can fill that void for you, other than YOU.
Signs that you have a wounded inner child
You often doubt yourself and feel as if there is something wrong with you
You experience anxiety when going out of your comfort zone
You're a people-pleaser
You don't have a strong sense of identity
You like being in conflict with other people
You feel inadequate
You are very self-critical
You are unforgiving of yourself and perhaps others
You have a hard time committing or trusting others
You have deep abandonment issues and cling to unhealthy relationships
How can inner child work be done?
1. Write a letter
Writing a letter to your childhood self enables you to reflect upon the traumatic experiences you've had while setting the intention to do everything in your power to heal. Sometimes you might find answers to questions can emerge upon this reflection.
2. Create a dialogue
Formulating some sort of dialogue can give voice and acknowledgement to your pain. Through this dialogue, make sure you are communicating only love and respect towards your inner child. For example, say things like "I take care of my inner child", "I love you", "I'm sorry you feel this way", or "You are enough". It is also recommended to offer words of comfort through recognising what they needed to hear back then.
4. Meditation practices
Studies have shown support for mindfulness mediation having the ability to change brain activity in areas linked with emotions. If you a beginner to mediation, I definitely suggest practicing before starting guided meditation child work. This form of meditation requires honesty and kindness towards yourself, your thoughts, and your emotions.
5. Work with a specialist in the field
If you have deep-rooted trauma from your childhood, it is best to discuss this with a licensed therapist or psychologist so they can assist you on your path to healing. Working with a professional means you will have someone to guide you in the best way possible in order to heal on a deeper level.
It is important to remember that this form of therapy is not intended to re-traumatise you, but rather bring emotions and memories to the surface in order to heal from them. This inner work can take time, but patience is always key. By doing this work your future self will benefit in a life-changing way.
I hope this post has inspired you to understand a little more about the impact of childhood experiences and how inner child healing can benefit you. Or, perhaps it has inspired you to search for some answers as to why you might respond to certain situations in a particular way. Maybe your inner child just needs a little love and attention!
Until next time;
peace and love,
Tina